I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
