All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
