Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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