I skipped work to stalk him.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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