watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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