He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
