I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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