remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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