You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
