i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
