I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
