I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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