Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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