North Korea, Best Korea!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
