He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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