I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
