Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
