I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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