please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
