I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
