he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
