I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
