told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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