wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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