everyone is single if you try hard enough
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
