i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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