the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Blood and glitter go together right?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
sex in a hospital.. check
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
