Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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