I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
