I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
