somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
