yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize