Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
