Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize