drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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