you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
