4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My bed smells like the plague
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
