Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
