That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
