If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
