He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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