STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
