no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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