Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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