I could have mohawked her pubes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize