sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
