i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
