I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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