Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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