I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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