Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
