One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
