just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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