I wish I could punch you in the face.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
