carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
is wine microwaveable?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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