the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
