i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
