Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
