I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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