Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
