I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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