I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
