ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
