So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
