I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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