dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize