thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
